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Parent Education
Parent Education Page
Great Information on how to be a supportive parent for your child (Most Articles courtesy of Cal South Website )
Carlsbad Lightning Soccer Parent Guidelines CLICK HERE
January 2006
Whether you’re watching your children from the sidelines during a crucial cup semi-final, driving them to training or talking to them at home about...... click for complete story
Carlsbad Lightning Soccer Club Parent Guidelines
Guideline for Parents
• Ensure that your child arrives to all practices and games at the designated time
• Remain seated in the spectator area during games
• Do not yell instructions or criticism to any player
• Make no derogatory comments to players, other parents, fans, or officials
• Do not interfere with your child’s coach (except to draw attention to an
urgent safety issue)
• Let the coach be responsible for your child during games
• Provide unconditional love and support regardless of the game’s outcome
1. We welcome you to attend and watch practice, but please remain in the spectator area during
practice activities.
2. For the good of the team, it is important that all players attend all practices and games. We
recommend that soccer practices and games not be used as a punishment. If a player must miss
practices or games, please discuss the situation with the coach.
3. It is understood that school academics are the top priority. Please help your child to organize and
prioritize school, athletics, and other activities.
4. Please work to be creative in scheduling doctor’s appointments, tutoring, etc. so as to not
consistently coincide with soccer practice.
5. Topics that we encourage you to discuss with your child’s coach
• Both mental and physical treatment of a player
• Ways to help a player improve
• Concerns about a player’s behavior
6. Topics that we ask you to refrain from discussing with your child’s coach
• Playing time that falls within the Lighting Soccer Club guidelines*
• Team Strategy
• Any player that is not your own child
Lightning Soccer Club makes a commitment to you that we will work hard to provide a fun,
educational, and safe environment in which your child’s soccer and team skills can grow. We will
treat you with respect in our words and actions and expect the same courtesy from our players and
parents.
I have read the above guidelines. I understand these guidelines and agree to abide by them. I will
convey this information to other adults responsible for my child.
Parent Signature: Date:
* Play time guidelines: Recreational and AA players will play at least 50% of all regulation games. AAA, Premier, and all
tournament games are at the coach’s discretion. Missed practices and disruptive behavior are grounds for less than
mandated play time.
Every Child Needs a Booster
What Supporting Your Child Doesn't Mean
Whether you’re watching your children from the sidelines during a crucial cup semi-final, driving them to training or talking to them at home about the game, your influence as a parent is critical. Too often overenthusiastic parents can let their emotions about the game and their children influence how they communicate and what they say to their child, the coach and the referee. To be a good soccer parent there are certain rules you should be aware of and should try to follow.
Listed below are some golden rules of what not to do:
– Never showing any encouragement.
– Never turning up to watch a match or training.
– At games spending the whole game:
Shouting “be aggressive” to your child, shouting at the opposition, shouting at your team that they’re useless, shouting that your child is useless, shouting that the referee is useless, shouting that the opposition’s coach is useless, shouting that your coach is useless.
For personal reminders, keep the following in mind as well:
– If your child is injured, don’t run onto the pitch to shout at the player responsible for picking on your child.
– At the final whistle do not give your child a big cuddle and a sloppy kiss. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t 26 at the time!
What Does ‘Supporting Your Child’ Mean?
To put it simply, it is about helping your child develop through soccer. Anyone involved in the game knows that soccer can bring huge benefits to the players, coaches and volunteers, such as the sense of belonging, teamwork, achievement and fitness.
Here are some examples of what you can do to support your child:
– Encourage, but don’t force your child to take part.
– Understand what your child wants from soccer and support it.
– Emphasize the enjoyment and fun of playing the game.
– Praise and reinforce effort and improvement.
– Be a constructive, positive and honest critic.
– Encourage your child to review their performance and discuss ways for improvement.
– Keep winning in perspective.
– Encourage fair play.
How Children Learn and How You Can Support This
We now recognize that children learn in a variety of ways and this principle is as true in soccer as in any other activity. Some people learn best through visual stimulation (video/TV), while for others it is through auditory learning (listening) or perhaps they are kinetic/tactile learners (through feel and touch). However, for most people learning is a combination of all three. Children tend to learn best when the learning involves student involvement, active involvement, structure and organization, ownership (when they feel it’s for them, they are allowed to contribute) and relating it to reality (such as running plays in practice and running those same plays during the games, allowing the players to see its relevance). On the other hand, children become less responsive when the learning features humiliation and sarcasm, disorganization and teaching the topic not the players as when you feature a new concept before the players have yet to understand the prior one.
As parents, it is important that we encourage our children to experience a variety of learning opportunities. Remember that children are often easily led, anxious to please and prone to over-enthusiasm and so plenty of praise and positive reinforcement is needed, especially with beginners. Children often find it hard to understand negative instructions and easier to understand positive reinforcement. This can frequently mean playing down the game’s result and playing up the performance. This reduces the child’s anxiety and decreases any worry about failing. Remember that children do not mean to make mistakes; we should accept mistakes as a necessary part of learning.
Make sure the players play by the rules; the majority of children as they are introduced to the game will not knowingly infringe the rules of the game. Finally, work with other adults, not against them, and by so doing reinforce positive attitudes among the children.
Children are extremely sensitive and parents yelling from the sidelines during games and being overly critical afterwards will only stunt the growth that is likely the cause of the outbursts to begin with. Being supportive and providing compliments will help the child not only enjoy the game more, but also, more likely than not, improve their skills as well.
HELPING OURSELVES BECOME BETTER SOCCER PARENTS
By Michael Langlois
With every new youth soccer season comes certain realities. So this may
be a good time, before the emotion of the new season sweeps everyone up,
for us all to give ourselves an opportunity to thoughtfully reflect on
some personal standards of behavior — some goals— heading into the “season”.
Most of us who have or have had children involved in youth sports,
either at the recreational/house league or so-called “all-star” or “rep”
level, know there are challenges facing youth sports.
And these challenges aren’t exactly new. Most of us have read about a
situation during the winter, for example, whereby an upset hockey parent
allegedly tried to “choke” his son’s coach during the course of the
game. Thankfully this does not occur frequently in minor sports, and
I’ve not heard of such an occurrence in the youth soccer world here in
Canada. But we have challenges facing us, to be sure.
We all stress — as parents and coaches— that the most important thing is
for the kids to have fun. But if you’ve ever spent time in a hockey
rink, or on the sidelines at a youth soccer game, you know that our
priorities often become confused during the emotion of any given contest.
Some parents coach incessantly from the sidelines, even when coaches
specifically ask that parents not give in to that natural tendency.
Parents yell at their own children, sometimes at the opposition.
Parents make subtle — and sometimes not so subtle — jabs at parents from
the opposing squad.
Parents complain about their child’s coach amongst themselves. They
complain to coaches about their child’s playing time, among other things.
Coaches who have their own son or daughter on a team face certain
challenges, as well. Are they too hard on their children? Do they show
favoritism to their own kids?
And the kids playing the game? They may be 10, 12, 14 years of age.
They really are out there to develop skills, and have fun. The rest of
us can sometimes mess things up. And we usually see someone else as the
problem, not us.
One thing we can all try to do heading into the season is improve our
own individual attitudes and how we communicate with one another.
Support your child’s coach. They likely aren’t perfect, either in terms
of their ability to instruct, motivate, or communicate. But they are
the coach.
* Help your children at home. Take them out for extra practice if
they want it and you can make the time.
* Don’t coach during games. Try to enjoy the game. (Most of us
are a little tense watching our own kids play. You’re not alone.) If
they make a mistake, they likely know they made a mistake. Harping on
it from the sidelines won’t really help.
* If you have an issue with your child’s coach, take it up with
them personally, privately, one-on-one. When parents get together to
complain about the coach —without his or her knowledge of their concerns
— especially over small issues, it can be very toxic.
* If a number of parents have what you believe are legitimate
concerns, then by all means raise them in a thoughtful, non-threatening
way with the coach.
* If you don’t see any results within a reasonable period of time,
do the right thing and raise the issue with the appropriate people at
the club/association level.
* If you’re a coach, return phone calls. Talk with, not at,
parents. By all means push your players to succeed, but check to make
sure they are still having fun as the season unfolds.
* Support the referees. They too are far from perfect. But if a
child sees coaches or parents yelling at the ref, they will learn to lay
blame on others. And they will have learned that by watching their
coach and/or parents on the sidelines.
As parents, let’s not assume everyone on the other team is a jerk.
There will always be a natural rivalry at sporting events, and everyone,
whether they admit it or not, wants their own child’s team to win. But
it doesn’t take much to cross a line, and when we do, it lowers the
behavioral bar.
I saw a great quote recently on a web site. The quote was from the
legendary Notre Dame football coach , Knute Rockne. Few people wanted
to “win” more than he, but he also knew there was more to sports than
winning. The comment was, basically, that we all (including kids) learn
more about sportsmanship by watching one person act it out, than by a
bunch of people talking about it.
Michael Langlois, founder of Prospect Communications Inc., is the author
of “How Well Do You Communicate? A Guide to Better Communication with
Players and Parents for Youth Soccer Coaches”. Prospect’s web site is
located at http://www.beyondthegame.net
Below is an article from the CalSouth web site. Thank you for
considering the recommendations in the article.
